The Value of Toxic Relationships

The Value of Toxic Relationships

Relationship Corner

Written by William Winship

Wednesday, 04 November 2009 19:24

The Value of Toxic Relationships

By William Winship

The focus of most of the relationship articles in the past has been on developing sustainable and healthy futures with willing parties; today we will focus on the not so willing.

First, as we begin to explore the “Toxic Relationship” it would be extremely valuable to discuss one’s mindset as it relates to those relationships. It is unrealistic to think that anyone will never be exposed to naysayers and dooms day personalities. Some people are simply wired for negative expression. Here is where you have the upper hand and can practice your skills of persuasion. If you recoil from negative relationships, it may be time to re-evaluate you own personal character traits. Those who exude negative behavior need positive influence if they are to grow into their potential.

Most people have trained themselves to avoid and move away from negative personalities, leaving them to fend for themselves. I would challenge you to explore ways to deal with those types in effort to help them grow and build yourself a funnel of loyal followers.

If a person says you never bring me candy and you always make me sad, as an example, this gives you an opportunity to change the situation. The best response would be to put on a smile, look softly at the victim and ask questions that explore the source of their issue. A carefully crafted question, asked kindly, most often will defuse the negative behavior. First acknowledge that you heard them, then ask your question. “I hear your frustration, what is your favorite candy?” This will help the person to know you care. It might even help to purchase the candy and with sincerity, deliver it. You will pass the test when you see a smile on their faces.

I have learned when you defuse a negative personality they eventually become your best asset. When that same negative person starts to sing your song, it has increased credibility because those who knew them as being negative will now see the positive behavior and take notice.


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